The Sure-Fire Method of Total Domination

So I was going through some of my old stuff and found this that I wrote back in 2009.

1. Come in with an unreasonable, selfish request.
2. Ask if it's possible
3. When it's (obviously) not, raise voice by 5 decibels to 90 decibels (according to http://www.gcaudio.com/resources/howtos/loudness.html this is the noise "Level at which sustained exposure may result in hearing loss")
4. Shamelessly browbeat opponent with facts about how you've been "planning this for almost eight months" and "(insert current best friend here) is doing it"
5. When told that those are not good reasons for doing anything, let alone doing this unreasonable request, bring up anecdotal evidence that "(respected community member, his/her daughter, and their bishop) condones it" and it won't do anything major, expensive, or irreversible, all the time gradually raising voice to 95 decibels
6. When money is brought up, make reference that although no money is owned right now, "when I get the job at (any restaurant or business here) later on I can pay for it," while ignoring evidence that because no money has ever been owned there is good evidence that others' money will be used instead
7. If these techniques don't work, attack permission-denier with all bad things they've ever done, apparently discrediting them and in so doing discrediting their argument
8. Begin sulking now
9. Become silent and let everybody in the room see how this rejection is affecting you by tearing up
10. When somebody implores you not to cry over something as silly as the reason, either respond by saying, "if it's so silly why can't I do it?" or else...
11. Cue standing up and leaving to your own room to sulk, ignoring protests, logic, and stampeding bears, as your hearing has probably been damaged by listening to rebellious loud music and your 95 decibel voice for a prolonged period of time
12. Be annoyed with everybody for the next 24 hours, at least, long after everybody else has even forgotten your request in vain hopes that this undeserved self-pity will spark some remittance of your sentence
13. Do it anyway