I Slam, Therefore I Am

Tonight was one of the most enjoyable nights I've had in a while up here at school.  We had a poetry slam: a few guys from the ward put together an amazing stage with lights, microphone, and music.  It was well attended and poems read ranged from the silly to the humorous to the deeply profound.  Rudyard Kipling, Invictus, Shel Silverstein - the gamut of emotions was arrayed there.  We had a rousing performance of a wardmember using the lyrics of a popular song.  He it was, in fact, who won the best performance.

What other collection of youth in the world would organically put together such an event?  They had some books of poetry lying around and I found one I'd never heard before called "Regarding a Door" and read that.  Overall a great night.

First duplicate snowflake found!

PROVO, UT -- The frozen theory of snowflake uniqueness was shattered today as local Provo resident Harvey Bright announced that he has found a snowflake that he has definitely seen before.

"I swear I saw this same design on Monday!" he shouted Wednesday evening as glittery flakes filled the night sky and his car-driving neighbor slid into a poplar tree due to the slushy road.  Further discovery was abruptly brought to an end as Harvey hurried to extract his friend from the wreckage.  By the time Harvey was again available for comment, the snowflake had melted.

Ever since the study of what are scientifically called "snow crystals" started in 1611 with Johannes Kepler's treatise On the Six-Cornered Snowflake, scientists and laypeople alike have maintained that every snowflake's crystal structure is unrepeatable.  Even about.com, a respected scientific knowledgebase, admits that "no two snowflakes are exactly identical."

"Duplicity of snow crystals is so highly unlikely that it is equivalent to the possibility of finding a penguin tied to a rocket orbiting the moon in the 1930s.  It just isn't feasible," advocated a BYU spokesperson from the Department of Cold-Weather Research as recently as 2010.  Harvey's discovery will be shocking news to a community that has long considered the uniqueness of snow crystals to be as much of a scientific law as Einstein's General Theory of Relativity.

"This certainly will have long-reaching impact," a city official publicly stated in a press conference held this morning at the courthouse.  "Provo city is considering the purchase of a new 'Welcome to Provo' sign with this discovery highlighted at the bottom."

Tourism is expected to increase dramatically as word of this discovery reaches all of America and eventually, all the world.

Ski resorts in the mountains surrounding Provo are hoping to capitalize as well.  Sherry Youd, who asked to remain anonymous, is the marketing director of one of Provo's premiere ski resorts.  She excitedly commented, "What has long been hailed as the greatest snow on earth now takes on a whole new meaning.  'The Greatest Snow on Earth...Twice' or 'Snowflake Found its Snowmate: So Can You' . . . possibilities of catch-phrases are endless.  This could be the biggest advertising campaign yet!"

The history of snow crystal research is long and varied, with famous names like Wilson Bentley photographing snowflakes in 1931 and Ukichiro Nakaya performing systematic snow crystal research in 1954.  Harvey truly has been standing on the "shoulders of giants" in this discovery.

According to a new city ordinance, local residents are expected to assess their coat sleeves periodically while it snows in hopes of confirming Harvey's discovery.

More info about snowflakes from about.com
More info about snowflake history

MTC process

OK, let me just tell you about the MTC application process.  It's pretty involved.

1. Fill out an online application, including info about what language you want to teach in, etc
2. Go into the MTC and teach two teachers a 10 minute prepared lesson based on a chapter in PMG (except for certain chapters), after which you have a couple minutes to evaluate your performance and then repractice (they don't give you any feedback, which is kind of unnerving; after your interview you're just shown out).  I taught something from the very beginning of chapter 2 about studying, I think, and how the Holy Ghost comes through study.  Something like that.
3. Attempt to contact the Spanish language evaluators by phone as soon as possible after the interview.  I tried for like two weeks but never got an answer.  One day I got one.  He asked me to do things like tell a story to him in Spanish, translate sentences, and just speak.
4. Be invited in for a group interview.  In my group interview each applicant was given a sheet from the new curriculum and asked to quickly prepare a 5 minute lesson: 3 minutes to teach/explain and then 2 minutes to stage a practice. We taught the other applicants and the evaluators watched and judged us on how well we were purpose centered and created a learner-enabling environment, as well as our classroom presence.  The hard part of the group interview is seeing the other applicants, who are all super stellar, and thinking that it's sad that a limited number of people can work at the MTC because these are quality, quality people.
5. They call back for a personal interview. This is like a normal business interview.
6. They call and offer you the job.
7. You go into the human resources office and fill out paper-work.
8. You set up a meeting with your training coordinator and go over some basics.
9. You're hired as a 4 month apprenticeship, in training, and under evaluation and review.
10. At the end of 4 months you are reviewed and they decide if you're going to stay on as a legit teacher.

Anyway, a lot of work, but worth it. How awesome, to be able to communicate one's love for the Savior, for his gospel, and for the best way to share it with others to missionaries about to head out into the world to testify.

Oh those homegrown jokes

Joe Schmoe was a pretty righteous guy, so he was taken up to the celestial kingdom in the twinkling of an eye.

Once he got up there he went to the doctor.
"Joe!  What are you doing here?  This is heaven, you're supposed to be perfect!"
"I know doc, but I feel like the 8th article of faith"
"What do you mean?"
"Yeah, I kind of feel like the Bible.  I don't think I was translated correctly."

Mercy and Justice in Cicero's Middle Rhetorical Style

I thought I'd share an assignment that we had in my Civilizations/Rhetorical class.

Mercy found Justice lifting weights, and promptly praised the practice
Of action just and strong and right and sometimes sharp as cactus.
With sumg acceptance Justice shrugged, a little smile playing,
His knowledge he was prime in life was now extant, displaying.
However merciful might wish to be the principle of Love,
The place of priority on the list grants Justice that first shove.
So Mercy, confident, could praise, because he knew the law,
That from before the world was made a plan was formed and drawn.
A Savior chosen and prepared to take those Justice smacks,
Would suffering suffer that all mankind have chance to escape death's tax.
And sin's dark power begs punishment, but by repenting we
Can qualify for Jesus' blood and infinite Mercy.
Justice, with his muscles huge, is prepared to give a blow,
But Jesus already took that horrible sting
And now his Mercy shows.

Back!

I received a terse email from my mother the other day.

how about picking up where you left off on this?

love you! good luck with everything this week.

mom

And as it turns out, I had forgotten about "this." So I'll start up again!

The Sure-Fire Method of Total Domination

So I was going through some of my old stuff and found this that I wrote back in 2009.

1. Come in with an unreasonable, selfish request.
2. Ask if it's possible
3. When it's (obviously) not, raise voice by 5 decibels to 90 decibels (according to http://www.gcaudio.com/resources/howtos/loudness.html this is the noise "Level at which sustained exposure may result in hearing loss")
4. Shamelessly browbeat opponent with facts about how you've been "planning this for almost eight months" and "(insert current best friend here) is doing it"
5. When told that those are not good reasons for doing anything, let alone doing this unreasonable request, bring up anecdotal evidence that "(respected community member, his/her daughter, and their bishop) condones it" and it won't do anything major, expensive, or irreversible, all the time gradually raising voice to 95 decibels
6. When money is brought up, make reference that although no money is owned right now, "when I get the job at (any restaurant or business here) later on I can pay for it," while ignoring evidence that because no money has ever been owned there is good evidence that others' money will be used instead
7. If these techniques don't work, attack permission-denier with all bad things they've ever done, apparently discrediting them and in so doing discrediting their argument
8. Begin sulking now
9. Become silent and let everybody in the room see how this rejection is affecting you by tearing up
10. When somebody implores you not to cry over something as silly as the reason, either respond by saying, "if it's so silly why can't I do it?" or else...
11. Cue standing up and leaving to your own room to sulk, ignoring protests, logic, and stampeding bears, as your hearing has probably been damaged by listening to rebellious loud music and your 95 decibel voice for a prolonged period of time
12. Be annoyed with everybody for the next 24 hours, at least, long after everybody else has even forgotten your request in vain hopes that this undeserved self-pity will spark some remittance of your sentence
13. Do it anyway

Nostalgia....

Nostalgia just isn't what it used to be. 
- Amanda Hatch

How to Win Friends and Influence People

How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie


My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Techniques that with a little bit of thought could be derived on one's own, but here laid out clearly with good examples. It is a well written compendium of "techniques" to, as the title says, win friends and influence people. Well worth the read.

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